Patrese

OOOH BIKERS!!!!

2009-05-08T14:03:00.000-07:00

FISHING PICS.

2008-12-13T10:12:00.000-08:00

HERE ARE SOME OF THE FISH CAUGHT IN THE LOCAL LAKES USING OUR BAIT. PRETTY COOL!

IS THAT A SQUIRREL?

2008-11-20T11:26:00.000-08:00

CHARLIE THE STORE CAT

2008-10-14T18:33:00.001-07:00

WHAT A PERVERT!!!!

LEARNING TO FLY

2008-08-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

THINGS SEEM TO BE GOING WELL & IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT IN THE BAIT BUSINESS! THE DELI IS SCHEDULED TO OPEN FOR FOOTBALL SEASON. WISH US LUCK!!! THIS IS PRETTY COOL CHECK OUT THIS VIRTUAL FLYING SITE http://www.electricoyster.com/electric3d/index.html COOL!

FROM BLOGGER TO WEBMASTER!

2008-08-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

CHECK IT OUT! MY NEW WEBSITE! I ACTUALLY BUILT IT MYSELF!http://www.tackleboxtoo.com/

HERE FISHY FISHY

2008-06-22T07:34:00.000-07:00

THIS IS THE IMAGE I AM USING FOR MY NEW BUSINESS CARDS! SOMEDAY I/LL GET A CHANCE TO GO FISHING...i HOPE.

Coming up on the Grand Opening!

2008-06-10T10:01:00.001-07:00

Coming right along now... We are working literally around the clock to get the store in working order for the big event on Saturday. I love this picture as it shows our local weirdo in front of the store. Made you squint!

So for those of you planning on coming I have attached a link so you can find us! Please come if you can!

AND SO IT IS

2008-05-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

WELL WE FINALLY DID IT. WE TOOK OVER THE STORE ON WEDNESDAY EVENING. NOW BEGINS A LONG BATTLE WITH DIRT & GRIME.

MURPHY'S LAW IS IN FULL EFFECT.
1. WE BLEW 3 BREAKERS & HAS TO RELPACE THEM
2. 1 BREAKER WAS TO THE ICE CREAM COOLER & WE LOST ALL THE ICECREAM WE JUST BOUGHT & THE INVENTORY THAT WAS ALREADY THERE.
3. ONE OF THE ICE MACHINES WAS PUT TO REST.
4. THE FULLY STOCKED STORE WAS NOT... LUCKILY, EVERYTHING WAS DELIVERED THE NEXT DAY (ON OUR DIME)
5. THE AIR CONDITIONER IS A SWAMP COOLER & MAKES IT 48% HUMIDITY IN THE STORE!
6.ON & ON & ON....

YOU GET THE JIST...

BUT WE MADE IT & IT IS OURS!

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

2008-04-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

SO AFTER THIS AMAZINGLY TORRENTIAL 4 MONTHS, JUST WHEN I THINK I MIGHT REALLY LOSE IT, THINGS FINALLY COME FULL CIRCLE. I KEEP PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE AND THE REWARDS KEEP COMING BACK. OF COURSE IT'S HARD TO FACE REJECTION BUT THE BENEFITS OF PERSEVERANCE ARE IMMENSE.

MEANING:

1. I FINALLY GOT ON DUEL. EVEN THOUGH THE RESULTS WERE NOT ENTIRELY FAVORABLE, I GOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!

2. WE HAVE A VERY GOOD CHANCE OF TAKING OVER THE NOTE ON THE COUNTRY STORE & COULD OWN IT BY JUNE. COINCIDENTALLY THAT IS WHEN RILEY GETS OUT OF SCHOOL!

3. MY FORMER EMPLOYER'S ATTORNEY CALLED AND WANTS TO SETTLE WITH ME.

4. I HAVE SPENT THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS WITH MY SON (MOSTLY POTTY TRAINING) THAT I WILL TREASURE FOREVER.

5. I HAVE REKINDLED OLD FRIENSHIPS.

6. I AM PLAYING POOL IN THE VEGAS TOURNAMENT NEXT MONTH. (EVEN THOUGH IT GETS SCARIER EVERY YEAR, I AM PROUD THAT I STILL DO IT)

7. HERE IS THE HUGE KICKER! YESTERDAY I AUDITIONED FOR DEAL OR NO DEAL & SECURED A SPOT ON THE SHOW!!@!!!<:()*&*(%$!!!!!!!

YES, LADIES & GENTLEMEN,

FINALLY A SHOW THAT TAKES NO BRAINS, TRIVIAL KNOWLEDGE, OR SKILL!!! ONLY THE AUDACITY AND CHARM TO GET THERE!

WHOOD'VE THUNK?

2008-04-05T06:56:00.000-07:00

WOWEE! I REALLY HAD NO IDEA THAT THEY WOULD HAVE EVER RAN MY EPISODE OF DUEL AS THE SEASON OPENER.

WELL TO MY SHOCK AND DISMAY MY PHONE STARTED RINGING OFF THE HOOK @ 9PM (MY USUAL BED TIME!)

I ACTUALLY COULDN'T WATCH IT! THE HOST REALLY DUG INTO ME & RATTLED ME. IT TOTALLY THREW ME OFF MY GAME. I SHOULD KNOW BETTER. DON'T LET THEM INTO YOUR KITCHEN. BUT I WASN'T EXPECTING IT.

LUCKILY, FROM WHAT I KNOW WHILE WATCHING IT ONE EYED THIS MORNING, THEY CUT MOST OF HIS EGGING ME ON OUT OF THE SCENES.

SO THE MYSTERY IS SOLVED, I FINALLY GOT ON DUEL AND LOST ON MY OWN MERIT.

OH WELL... DID I MENTION THAT DEAL OR NO DEAL CALLED ME & I HAVE AN INTERVIEW NEXT THURSDAY?

I love you like crazy cakes!

2008-04-03T17:29:00.000-07:00

FOR LOVE OF THE GAME

2008-04-02T09:16:00.000-07:00

WELL, THE ANNUAL NATIONAL BILLIARDS CONGRESS OF AMERICA TOURNAMENT IS FAST APPROACHING!

I HAVE SIGNED UP TO PLAY SCOTCH DOUBLES WITH MY FRIEND HARRY, A RETIRED EX-COP. THE GOOD THING ABOUT BEING RETIRED IS YOU HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO PLAY POOL!

I, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAVE 2 SMALL CHILDREN AND 72 THINGS ON MY PLATE. WHERE THERE'S AS WILL THERE'S A WAY. :)

HERE IS MY ODE TO POOL...

YOU'VE JUST GOT TO RELAX AND CONCENTRATE

BREATHE OUT OF YOUR EYE LID

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING

YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING SINCE YOU WERE A KID

COMPETITION CAN BE DAUNTING

FAILURE HAUNTING

SO KEEP YOU HEAD TOGETHER AND YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID

MY AUNTIE HAS BEEN SO KIND AS TO GO WITH ME TO THIS ANNUAL EVENT AND HAS BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE. WE READ AFFIRMATIONS OUT LOUD ALL THE WAY THERE. THEN ON THE WAY BACK WE REVIEW THE PAST YEAR, NOTE OUR PROGRESSION, AND SET GOALS FOR THE NEW YEAR.

I THINK THAT THE ROAD TRIP IS MY FAVORITE PART.

IT DOESN'T MEAN I COULDN'T STAND A LITTLE OLD FASHIONED COMPETITION!

HERE WE GO ROUND AGAIN....

2008-04-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOKS LIKE THE COUNTRY STORE IS BACK ON THE MARKET & I HAVE RIGHT OF FIRST REFUSAL ON THE PURCHASE!

I FIND IT HIGHLY INTERESTING THAT THE THINGS YOU FOCUS ON TRULY COME INTO YOUR LIFE.

1. THE GAME SHOW CAME BACK AROUND

2. THE MARKET CAME BACK INTO PLAY

WELL, WHETHER THESE THINGS ARE A BLESSING OR CURSE, WE'LL SOON FIND OUT.

KEEP WISHING ME LUCK AS WE ARE NOT OUT OF THE WOODS YET!!!

MUCH MORE TO COME SO STAY TUNED!!!!

MY LOVE TO YOU ALL!

THE HEAT IS ON!

2008-03-27T06:01:00.001-07:00

WELL I GUESS PERSISTENCE PAYS! I'VE BEEN CHOSEN AS A CONTESTANT FOR DUEL! I REALLY CANT SAY WHAT WILL HAPPEN OR IF I'LL BE COMING HOME WITH BEAUCOUP BUCKS. WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT TIL THE SHOW AIRS. PLEASE DON'T ASK WHAT HAPPENED AS I COULD GET SUED FOR 2 MIL IF IT GOT OUT. THAT IS MORE THAN I COULD WIN!!! PLEASE SEND LUCK OF THE TRIVIA DRAW VIBES TODAY!

I HAVE OTHER NEWS BUT THIS CAN WAIT TIL TOMORROW AS I NEED TO GET MY BUT IN THE SHOWER AS I HAVE A 7:30 CALL!

PEACE AND LOVE.

2008-03-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

THE GREATEST NATURAL BEAUTY (BESIDES ME IN MY YOUTH OF COURSE) I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED WAS @ LAKE POWELL. THE GRAND CANYON ON WATER.

THIS HAS LED ME TO PURCHASE A SHARE OF A HOUSEBOAT SO MY FAMILY MIGHT EXPERIENCE THIS BEAUTY FIRST HAND.

HAPPY HAPPY TRAILS!

2008-03-12T06:36:00.000-07:00

To all my friends who,

in 2007, sent me an

email

with promises of good

luck if I

forwarded something,

IT DID NOT WORK!

So, for 2008,

please

just send

either

money,

chocolate,

or

gas

vouchers.

Thank You!

I GIVE YOU A GIFT AND YOU STAND THERE & SHOW UP MY PITCHER! RUN DUMMY!

2008-02-18T20:21:00.000-08:00

IF YOU KNOW ME AT ALL YOU'D KNOW MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS BULL DURHAM. I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO BUST OUT A SINGLE LINE, RECITE MONOLOGUES (OH MY!), AND SPEAK THE LINES AS THEY ARE COMING UP DURING THE FILM. THIS LAST ONE IS RATHER ANNOYING, I KNOW. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT!

THERE ARE FEW FILMS THAT SEEM FUNNIER THE MORE YOU WATCH THEM. INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO:

THIS IS SPINAL TAP

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY

THE LIFE OF BRIAN

PRINCESS BRIDE

AND MANY MORE I'M SURE I'LL WAKE UP THINKING ABOUT TOMORROW.

ANYWAY, BACK TO THE DURHAM!

PATRESE'S TOP 10 BULL DURHAM QUOTES!!!!

(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER AS I JUST COULDN'T DECIDE!)

10. ANYTHING THAT TRAVELS THAT FAR OTTA HAVE A DAMN STEWARDESS ON IT.

9. THE ROSE GOES IN THE FRONT BIG GUY.

8. You lollygag the ball around the infield, you lollygag your way down to first, you lollygag in and out of the dugout, do you know what that makes you, Larry? Lollygagers

7. I'M CRASH DAVIS, I'm your new

catcher and you just got lesson number one: don't think, it can only hurt the ballclub.

6. Strikeouts are boring - besides that, they're fascist. Throw some more groundballs. Its more democratic.

5. FROM WHAT I HEAR, YOU COULDN'T HIT WATER IF YOU FELL OUT OF A FUCKING BOAT.

4. Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of

a woman's back, the hangin

curveball, high fiber, good scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-

indulgent overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe there ought to be a

Constitutional ammendment outlawing astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot,

soft core pornography, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than on Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet k

isses that last three days.

3. Excuse me what the 'heck' is going on out here? Well, Nuke is scared because his eye lids are jammed and his old man is here, we need a live roo...was it a live rooster? We need a live rooster to take the curse off of Jose's glove and no one seems to know what to get Millie and Jimmy for their wedding present. Is that about right? We are dealing with a lot of heavy 'stuff' out here. Okay, well a candlesticks always make a nice gift, and a maybe find out where she is registered...maybe a place setting or a silverware pattern is good, Okay, let's get two, Here we go!

2. WELL HE FUCKS JUST LIKE HE PITCHES, SORT OF ALL OVER THE PLACE.

1. I'm the player to be named later.

ODE TO THE VALENTINE?

2008-02-14T06:54:00.000-08:00

ALL I REALLY WANT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY IS FLOWERS AND A NICE DINNER THAT I DON'T HAVE TO BUY, COOK, PLAN, OR PAY FOR.

EVERY YEAR THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME DIFFICULTY IN RELATING THIS. AFTER ALL IT HAS BEEN 364 DAYS SINCE WE'VE DONE THIS. IT MUST HAVE CHANGED SINCE THEN.

I KNOW IT IS A CHEESY CONSPIRACY AGAINST MAN. I KNOW THERE IS NO FOOTBALL, BLOW JOB AND SHUT UP DAY!

I DO WORK HARD, I DO PUT OUT.

SO I ASK YOU, AGAIN, KINDLY, CAN I HAVE A LITTLE ROMANCE?

WHERE TO MR. MAGOO?

2008-02-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

DRIVING BLINDLY INTO THE FUTURE CAN BE VERY SCARY. YOU JUST HAVE TO RELAX AND CONCENTRATE. I HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING WHAT MY FUTURE WILL BRING AND IT IS A GREAT DISPLAY OF JUGGLING EMOTIONS.

THOUGH IT CAN BE EXHILARATING, I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK I AM PUTTING ALL THE PRESSURE ON MY HUSBAND TO PERFORM(SO TO SPEAK).

I ALSO CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT HE ENJOYS BEING NEEDED. SOMETHING THAT HAS NEVER REALLY BEEN A FACTOR IN OUR RELATIONSHIP IN THE LAST 6 1/2 YEARS.

WELL,

IT'S COOL...

WHO'S THE MAN? OR WOMAN...

2008-01-27T20:33:00.000-08:00

INTERESTING... I REALLY STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHO I MIGHT BE VOTING FOR IN THE COMING ELECTION. I THINK THAT THERE ARE VARIOUS ASPECTS TO THE DECISION. THESE ARE SOME OF MY THOUGHTS.

1. EVERYONE REALLY WANTS TO VOTE FOR THE PERSON WHO WILL WIN.

2. THERE IS A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF FEAR THAT IF YOU VOTE FOR THE WRONG PERSON, OR THING, SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN.

3. RESEARCHING THE ISSUES CAN BE TIME CONSUMING.

4. MAN, WOMAN, COLOR, RACE, CREED? I KNOW PEOPLE SAY THESE THINGS DON'T MATTER... EVER BEEN TO TEXAS? PERSONALLY I REALLY LOVE TO THINK THAT THIS WILL BE THE ELECTION TO CHANGE IT ALL!

5. PEOPLE ARE LAZY THEY WANT THINGS TO CHANGE BUT WON'T GET OFF THEIR ASSES TO DO ANY THING ABOUT IT. ( OR THE ONE I REALLY LOVE, THEY TELL YOU WHY THINGS CAN'T OR WON'T CHANGE!)

PLEASE PEOPLE, DON'T BE A JACKASS (NO PUN INTENDED), GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

WHICH WAY TO GO?

2008-01-22T10:08:00.000-08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost

BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN

2008-01-17T09:32:00.000-08:00

IT TAKES A TRUE GAME SHOW JUNKIE TO TRY IT AGAIN. SO, I AM A FINALIST FOR BINGO AMERICA! I ALSO GOT A RETURN EMAIL FROM ANOTHER SHOW FOR A MOVIE CRITIC! TALK ABOUT SQUARE OF FORTUNE. I CAN'T HELP IT, I AM ADDICTED YOU KNOW. NO INTERVENTIONS PLEASE!

COMPUTER WIZARD

2008-01-11T16:09:00.001-08:00

MY SON NOAH IS NOW A COMPUTER WIZARD. HE CAN NAVIGATE FISHER-PRICE.COM LIKE A PRO. HIS FAVORITES ARE THE ANIMAL SOUNDS AND FOOTBALL. GREAT FUN!

THIS MAKES SIX....

2008-01-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

I WASN'T THERE, & YOU WEREN'T THERE, & A BIG TREE FELL ON THE HOUSE. LITERALLY... SO, I GET A CALL FROM THE LADY NEXT DOOR FROM MY MADERA PROPERTY & SHE TELLS ME THAT MY TREE FELL ON MY HOUSE! IT HIT THE BACK PATIO, THE WATER HEATER, PULLED THE POWER LINES OUT OF THE HOUSE & SCRATCHED MY HUSBAND'S NEW TRUCK!

THIS MAKES SIX.
1. LOST THE GAME SHOW.
2. GOT FIRED.
3. NOAH DISLOCATED HIS ELBOW.
4. GOT TURNED DOWN FOR UNEMPLOYMENT.
5. THE STORE PURCHASE IS ON HOLD BECAUSE OF A PENDING LAWSUIT!
5. NOAH DISLOCATED HIS ELBOW (YES, AGAIN) & I AM NOT COVERED...
6. A TREE FELL ON MY HOUSE

IF ANYONE WAS PAYING ATTENTION, IT REALLY MAKES 7.!!! FUNNY THOUGH, I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER.

THIS MAKES SIX.
1. MY SON IS GOING IN THE POTTY.
2. I DO NOT ACTUALLY HAVE TO WORK YET.
3. I GET TO ACTUALLY COOK & NOT THROW THINGS IN A PAN @ 5:30.
4. MY HOUSE IS CLEAN.
5. I'M HAVING SEX!
6. WE GET TO REBUILD THE PATIO & TURN IT INTO A BONUS ROOM..

EVEN STEVEN!

PICTURES OF THE DAMAGE PENDING!

THE SHOP

2007-12-28T10:38:00.001-08:00

HERE IS A PREVIEW OF THE MARKET WE ARE BUYING. IT STILL NEEDS A LOT OF WORK, BUT IT WILL BE OURS! NO MORE JACKASS BOSSES...EVER.

Who is the Villain?

2007-12-27T08:50:00.000-08:00

IMAGINE MY SHOCK AND DISMAY WHEN MY ILLUSTRIOUS EMPLOYER DISCHARGED ME... NOW, IMAGINE MY HORROR ON CHRISTMAS EVE WHEN THE UNEMPLOYMENT DEPARTMENT SENT ME A LETTER STATING THAT MY CLAIM WAS DENIED BECAUSE I WAS "DISCHARGED FROM YOUR LAST JOB WITH CUSTOM DESIGN AND DESTRUCT (YES, THEY ACTUALLY MADE THIS BRILLIANT TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR) BECAUSE YOU KNOWINGLY ENTERED FALSE INFORMATION ON A TIME CARD". I WAS DISCHARGED FOR MISCONDUCT! DON'T YOU THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME THEY SUSPECTED MY MISCONDUCT UPON FIRING?

WOW AND DOUBLE WOW. SO, WHAT KIND OF RETRIBUTION SHOULD THERE BE? IS THIS SLANDER? I THINK SO!!!!!

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK I SHOULD DO.... IS THIS FOR REAL? HAVE I BEEN PUNKED? WILL THE REAL VILLAIN PLEASE STAND UP?????

BOYS WILL BE BOYS!

2007-12-18T13:56:00.000-08:00

SO I GOT MY FIRST DOSE OF HAVING A BOY. TODAY I SPENT 5 HOURS IN THE HOSPITAL WITH MY SON NOAH "THE MONKEY BOY" HEDDING. HE SEEMS TO THINK THAT STANDING ON THE COFFEE TABLE AND JUMPING ONTO THE COUCH IS NOT ONLY FUN BUT RECOMMENDED PLAY FOR A 2 YEAR OLD.

THE DOCTORS THOUGHT HE BROKE HIS WRIST AS HE WOULD NOT MOVE HIS HAND AT ALL. (THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED YESTERDAY) BUT AFTER 4 X RAYS THEY FINALLY DIAGNOSED HIM WITH DISLOCATION OF PROXIMAL RADIUS AND MUSCULO-SKELETAL PAIN. BETTER KNOWN AS OWWIE. THE DOCTOR POPPED HIS ELBOW BACK IN THE SOCKET, GAVE HIM MOTRIN, AND SAID HAVE A NICE DAY!

WE HAVE BEEN HOME APPROXIMATELY 22 MINUTES AND HE IS BACK IN THE HABIT & ALREADY RUNNING AMOK. WHAT IS THE MOTHER'S LITTLE HELPER OF THE 2000'S?

WELL IF THINGS GO IN THREES (PLEASE LET THIS BE THE LAST OF IT!), WERE DONE. MAY THE RAIN STILL COME DOWN. BUT BRING ME A RAINBOW ONCE IN A WHILE!

THE TWISTING, TURNING ROAD

2007-12-14T09:12:00.000-08:00

SO, I'M SURE A FEW OF YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON.

I WENT BACK TO WORK AFTER THE GAME SHOW FIASCO AND I GOT FIRED. MERRY F-ING CHRISTMAS! NO EXPLANATION, NO SEVERANCE. WHAT KIND AND GENTLE SOULS!

REGROUP # 2 -
AMAZING HOW THIS WORKS. ANY LESSER ABLE BODY MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HANG ON WITH THEIR WORLD SPINNING SO QUICKLY. LUCKILY I AM A PRETTY GOOD BULL RIDER (MECHANICAL) AND CAN DIG IN & HOLD ON FOR THE RIDE.

FRIDAY, I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO WORK WITH MY HUSBAND AND STARTED HELPING HIM WITH THE ESTIMATES FOR CLEANING UP THE MALIBU FIRES. THEN WENT HOME, FILED FOR UNEMPLOYMENT, AND RESPONDED TO 20 JOB OPENINGS ON THE INTERNET.

THEN, ON MONDAY, I LEFT TO GO TO MADERA AND LOOK INTO SOME PROPERTY LINE AND ROAD ISSUES. IT WAS ON THIS TRIP THAT THE CHANGE IN THE AIR I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR WAS TRULY REVEALED. THE NEIGHBORHOOD BAIT SHOP, COUNTRY STORE, DELI WAS FOR SALE. YADDA,YADDA,YADDA, BING, BANG, BOOM.... WE OPENED ESCROW ON TUESDAY.

I, LADIES & GENLTLEMEN, WILL BE THE NEW PROPREITOR OF THE TACKLE BOX TOO!

GOD LIGHTING

2007-11-29T17:35:00.000-08:00

WOW, WHAT A WEEK!

SO I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE ONCE AGAIN, AND IT CAME TO PASS THAT THIS IS ALSO NOT THE PATH FOR ME. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE SCRATCHING THEIR HEADS, I GOT BUMPED FROM THE SHOW.

THERAPY:
1) IMMEDIATELY DRINK SEVERAL JACK & COKES.

2) NEXT DAY: SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY SLEEPING & EATING THE MOST DISGUSTING THINGS I COULD FIND IN THE FRIDGE, FREEZER, & BACK OF THE CUPBOARDS. I HONESTLY DIDN'T KNOW PEANUT BRITTLE COULD LAST THAT LONG!

3) GET MY ASS BACK TO WORK.

4) TRY NOT TO ENGAGE IN CONVERSATION. SOMETIMES IT IS NOT BETTER TO TELL THE TRUTH THAN BE SILENT.

5) LOOK FOR NEW MOTIVATION.

I AM CURRENTLY STILL ON #5.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

TAKE ACTION! YOU CANNOT DISCOVER NEW OCEANS UNLESS YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO LOSE SIGHT OF THE SHORE.

IF YOU HAVE ANY REALLY GOOD THERAPY THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE SOMETHING ILLEGAL, IMMORAL(I AM MARRIED), OR WELL, I ALREADY DID THE FATTENING PART, LET ME KNOW....

I AM STILL LOOKING FOR THAT NEXT BIG THING. I CAN GET DOWN, BUT I WON'T LET IT KEEP ME DOWN.

NEWS FLASH!!!! MY LOVING HUSBAND SENT ROSES AND LILLIES TO MY WORK JUST NOW.

SEE... IT'S GETTING BETTER ALREADY. :)

AND WE'RE OFF!!!

2007-11-21T14:56:00.000-08:00

WELL KIDS... I FINALLY GOT THE CALL FROM DUEL. I HAVE TO REPORT FOR SEQUESTERING SUNDAY. THE CHANCE TO WIN 2 MILLION DOLLARS!

I'M GONNA INGEST A WHOLE LOT OF GINKO BILOBA. AND STUDY MY ASS OFF!

KEEP SENDING THE VIBES! LOVE YA!

ELFING FUNNY!

2007-11-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

MY DARLING FRIEND LAURA SENT THIS TO ME. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY TIL I PUT MY FAMILY IN AND LAUGHED MY ASS OFF. THIS IS A MUST DO FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO, LIKE ME, NEED A KICK IN THE PANTS TO GET IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT.
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9557345668

THE SUSPENSE IS TERRIBLE!... I HOPE IT WILL LAST.

2007-11-19T13:05:00.000-08:00

MY FUTURE IS AT HAND

COUNTDOWN TO THE DECISION. SO, I GOT THE CONTRACT FOR THE GAME SHOW LAST NIGHT. IT HAS TO BE IN BY WED. I READ IT THOROUGHLY & FRETTED ABOUT WHETHER I WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE APPEARANCES IN ANY OTHER MEDIA IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS. THE CONTRACT STATES I CAN'T WITHOUT WRITTEN CONSENT. THERE GOES MY CAREER AS A PLAYBOY BUNNY! LOL.

I FAXED IT TODAY AND THEY CALLED ME TO TELL ME THAT THE DECISION WILL BE MADE IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS. THEY ALSO SAID I HAVE A LOT OF FANS AT THE PRODUCTION COMPANY ( A LITTLE INSIDE INFO).

TALK ABOUT YOU THOUGHTS SCATTERING! WHAT SHALL I WEAR? WHAT DO I NEED TO BRING? WHAT SHOULD I STUDY? WHAT CAN I DO @ WORK TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS COMPLETE BEFORE I GO? DO I NEED TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING? SHOULD THE NANNY STAY AT THE HOUSE?

THE ANSWER... I HOPE... BREATHE. I SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE AIMING FOR THE CHANCE TO CHANGE MY FAMILY'S FUTURE. NOW THE FUTURE IS AT HAND.

I PRAY THAT I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING TO MAKE MYSELF READY.

ALBERT CAYMUS WROTE: "THE ESSENTIAL THING IN LIFE IS TO ALLOW YOURSELF EVERYTHING".

I HAVE ALWAYS TRIED EVERTYHING. NOW IT IS TIME TO DO.

WISH ME LUCK!

GAME SHOW JUNKIE

2007-11-16T13:43:00.000-08:00

America’s Next Great Game Show.

If you've spent years watching game shows, yelling at the television "everyone knows the answer to that!", then get off the couch: this is the opportunity for you!

SO, I AM STILL TRING TO GET ON THE NEXT BIG GAME SHOW.

THIS GAME SHOW SEASON HAS SHOWN TO BE QUITE PROMISIING THOUGH. I GOT ON A FOX DAYTIME ONE CALLED TEMPTATION(THE NEW SALE OF THE CENTURY), AND WON SOME PRIZES VALUED AT APPROXIMATELY $5,200 DOLLARS. GUCCI SUNGLASSES AND 3 TICKETS TO FLY ANYWHERE CHEAP TICKETS GOES IN THE U.S., SOME PEARL JEWELRY, AND SHOES. SO IF ANY OF YOU GET A GIFT FROM ME RESEMBLING ANY OF THESE PRIZES, PLEASE DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH.

I ALSO HAVE ONE NEW ONE. IT'S CALLED DUEL, IT'S ON ABC, & IT IS A 2 MILLION DOLLAR PRIZE. I INTERVIEWED WITH THEM IN OCTOBER, THEY CALLED ME 2 HOURS LATER AND ASKED ME TO COME BACK. I MET WITH A CASTING DIRECTOR AND THEN INTERVIEWED ON CAMERA.

SINCE THEN I HAVE SPOKEN TO 8 DIFFERENT PEOPLE FROM THEIR PRODUCTION AND FILLED OUT 50 PAGES OF BACKGROUND INFO AND LEGAL MUM BO JUMBO. HAVE YOU EVER, OR DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS POSSESSED ILLEGAL DRUGS?

WELL, THEY CALLED ME YESTERDAY AND SAID THEY WERE SENDING ME A CONTRACT. THEN SAID THAT THERE IS STILL A CHANCE I MIGHT NOT GET ON...??? IT STARTS SHOOTING ON THE 25TH AND HAS AN 8 DAY SHOOT FROM SUNDAY TO SUNDAY. SO THEY'D BETTER GET MOVING!

PLEASE SEND ME AS MUCH GOOD ENERGY AND KARMA AS YOU CAN MUSTER. SUSTAINING EXCITEMENT FOR 2 MONTHS IS GETTING DIFFICULT!

LEAGUE PLAY

2007-11-15T09:03:00.000-08:00

WELL 50:50 IS BETTER THAN AN 0 FOR. LAST NIGHT... HMMMNNN...

SOMEHOW I HAVE BEGUN TO PUT A LOT OF MENTAL PREPARATION INTO MY LEAGUE PLAY. WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I'M PUTTING EFFORT INTO MY POOL GAME.

SO I GIVE 2 GAMES AWAY TO 2 GOOD PLAYERS THAT I USUALLY BEAT. MY MENTAL GAME/CRABBINESS GOES AWAY AFTER 3 BEERS & I START TO ACTUALLY PLAY!

FUNNY HOW I USED TO JUST GO FOR IT AND PLAY THE TABLE. NOW THE WHOLE GAME HAS CHANGED. PEOPLE PLAY SAFETIES UNTIL THEY WEAR YOU DOWN, LUCKY FOR ME I HAVE SOMEHOW GOTTEN MORE PATIENCE WITH AGE. I END UP BEATING THE NEXT 2.

ONE OF THEM REALLY GAVE ME A RUN FOR MY MONEY THOUGH. LUCKILY, I DIDN'T OVER THINK IT. WE PLAYED A 45 MINUTE GAME. (FOR THE NOVICES A GAME USUALLY LASTS 15 MINUTES.) I DID THE HIGHLY UNUSUAL FOR ME AND PLAYED A SAFETY BEFORE ONE WAS PLAYED ON ME. THEN, THE FUN PART CAME IN. I BEGAN BANKING HER BALLS(TRY TO CONCEIVE THAT ONE OUT OF CONTEXT) AND GIVING HER BALL IN HAND FOR THE NEXT 10 SHOTS. LUCKILY, PEOPLE WHO USUALLY PLAY SAFETIES ARE NOT ONES WHO TRY SHOTS FOR THE THRILL. SHE SAFETIED HERSELF OUT AND I ENDED UP GETTING A SHOT AND SEALING THE DEAL. LATER, ONE OF HER TEAM MATES SAID I CALLED HER SOMETHING RUDE... SADLY TO SAY I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE BALLS AND NOT HER PERSONALLY.

ODE TO KARAOKE: SPILL THE WINE :)

I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER.

LEARN TO SHOW MERCY

2007-11-14T11:15:00.000-08:00

I THINK I AM GROWING AS A PERSON. THREE STEPS FORWARD(GOOD) TWO STEPS BACK (OOPS). THIS SEEMS TO HAPPEN MONTHLY ON A CRABBY VS. TIRED BASIS.

THERE IS A GIRL IN MY OFFICE THAT HAS A DAILY CALENDAR FROM JOYCE MEYER WITH THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY. TODAY'S LESSON IS "LEARN TO SHOW MERCY". TO FOLLOW IS THE PRAYER, THEN I'LL TELL YOU WHY I NEED IT.

WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO SHOW MERCY TO OTHERS AND NOT BE LEGALISTIC, RIGID, AND HARD TO PLEASE. THE SPIRIT OF GOD IS PATIENT, LONG SUFFERING, FORBEARING AND SLOW TO ANGER. WHEN WE ASK HIM.....BLAH BLAH..... WE HAVE HIS SPIRIT IN US, AND WITH HIS HELP WE CAN LEARN TO BEHAVE THE WAY HE WOULD IN RELATIONSHIPS.

MY HUSBAND SLEPT ON THE COUCH LAST NIGHT AS HE WAS OUT WITH THE BOYS AND DIDN'T WANT TO DISTURB ME. I WENT TO THE GYM @ 5 AS PER USUAL AND LEFT HIM THERE. WHEN I RETURNED HE WENT UP STAIRS AND LAID DOWN. I'LL TELL YOU THE NASTY CRAP THAT WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WOULD END A LESSER RELATIONSHIP.

I THEN PROCEEDED TO CUSS OUT EVERY BUTT HEAD FROM MY HOUSE TO WORK FOR INFRINGING ON MY ROAD GIVEN SPACE.

EVERY PEDESTRIAN BEWARE! SO, IF YOU ARE IN L.A. TODAY LOOK OUT FOR THE SILVER CHRYSLER.

DON'T WORRY! THIS MOOD TOO SHALL PASS.

The Lightness of Being

2007-11-13T16:12:00.000-08:00

So, This is the image I chose for my New Year's resolution last year. I pasted it on my Belief board and look at it often.

I then joined the gym(OK 7 months later, but still). I now work out 5 days a week @ 5 am. I gained a total of 6 pounds in 4 months! I know, I know, some of this is muscle. But, some of it is fat!

Eating has become an obsession. Drinking beer has never been more enjoyable. Chocolate now seems much more acceptable than ever. I ask you, what happened to my will of steel?

I guess it really is true that when you hit 35 your metabolism slows way down. That's OK My husband still either thinks I'm hot or does a really good job of faking it.

THE WAY THAT YOU USE IT

2007-11-12T09:43:00.001-08:00

MY GOOD FRIEND SAL SENT ME A LINK TO ERIC CLAPTON'S THE WAY THAT YOU USE IT VIDEO. IT FEATURES CLIPS FROM THE COLOR OF MONEY. WOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I LOVED HAVING THAT RAW ENERGY WHEN PLAYING POOL.

I WAS ONCE (AT LEAST IN MY HEAD) VINCENT. I'D WALK INTO A PLACE LIKE A SNEAK ATTACK, SIT QUIETLY, AND FIND THE PERSON TO BEAT IN THE ROOM. THEN, MOSTLY WITHOUT FAIL, KICK THE CRAP OUT OF THEM. AAHHH, WHAT A RUSH.

ONE OF LAURA'S FAVORITE STORIES: WE (THE GIRLS) WERE IN A DIVE BAR THAT WITH THE EXCEPTION OF US, THE PATRONS COLLECTIVELY HAD THE EQUIVALENT OF ONE FULL SET OF TEETH. I WAS RUNNING THE TABLE FOR ABOUT 4 HOURS AND WE WERE ABOUT TO LEAVE. ONE GUY CAME UP TO ME AND BEGGED ME TO STAY SAYING HE'D WAITED 2 HOURS TO PLAY ME. "JUST ONE QUICK GAME" HE PLEADED. I AGREED AND BROKE THE BALLS AND RAN OUT. I THANKED HIM FOR THE GAME AND GATHERED MY THINGS. AS WE WERE WALKING OUT, SWEET LAURA SMILES AND SAYS "WAS THAT QUICK ENOUGH?" I DO LOVE HER.

THINKING ABOUT IT GETS MY ENERGY PUMPING THOUGH ! I STILL THINK I COULD BE GOOD. ENJOY THE VIDEO. I DID
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7_Ldy1XDOU

Psychic Appointment

2007-11-11T08:05:00.000-08:00

So, my loving husband gave me the weekend off. Wow!!! I really needed it!

I went to San Luis Obisbo to visit a friend and went to a spiritual/craft fair thingy. I found a couple of really cool necklaces. Sidenote: How is it that people can charge so much money for a polished rock?

Anyway we decidied to get our cards read by a psychic. I was feeling pretty good going in as I have a ton of irons in the fire and was excited to see if the lady would tell me which ones might pan out. Then she goes into this trance state talking to the spirits and thanking them for their 2 cents. She ends up pulling 5 cards for me and tells me that each of the spirits is telling me to LET IT GO. Apparently the spirits know me well enough to discern that I like to have things my way. Understatement of the year. :) She did mention change though (which I LOVE) But it was still based on LETTING IT GO.

I then spent much of my day breathing and trying to be HERE NOW. Have you ever tried to do this? It really takes practice not to think about whether you watered the plants before you left, or what you will say when that game show finally calls you back.

Best bet and easiest way to stay in the moment:

1. Drink wine.

2. Play PS2 Sing star Karkoke.

LESSON LEARNED: Have fun being. You have no control over lthe future, or the past.

I still hope the game show will call though.

JUST LIKE "YOU'VE GOT MAIL"

2007-11-09T10:17:00.000-08:00

I AM SERIOUSLY GETTING A RUSH FROM SEEING WHO'S LOOKING @ MY BLOG. WHO KNEW THIS WOULD BE SUCH A KICK! HAVING THE NEO COUNTER IS THE COOLEST THING EVER. HEY THERE DUBLIN!

LIKE MEG RYAN SNEAKING TO HER COMPUTER, I'VE FOUND MYSELF CHECKING MY BLOG SEVERAL TIMES A DAY TOO SEE WHERE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEEN IT ARE. ONLY 2 DAYS OLD AND ALREADY AN OBSESSION! :)

IT'S KIND OF LIKE THAT DREAM WHERE YOU ARE NAKED GOING TO SCHOOL, BUT WITHOUT THE EMBARRASSMENT OR CONFUSION.

DON'T WORRY THOUGH... I'M NOT GOING TO THREATEN TO SEND ANY OF YOU A BOUQUET OF PENCILS.

OMGWTF!

2007-11-08T13:54:00.000-08:00

SO I'M PLAING IN MY POOL LEAGUE LAST NIGHT AND REALLY AM A MISERABLE FAILURE. HOW DO I GET MYSELF TO SHUT UP AND PLAY WITHOUT STANDING THERE AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE REASON I COULDN'T HIT WATER IF I FELL OUT OF A FUCKING BOAT?

JUST RIGHTLY, I ENDED UP SINGING KARAOKE AND GETTING A LITTLE TOO LOOPY! NOTHING WRONG WITH A LITTLE RED CORVETTE AND GOOD FRIENDS.

WELL, IN THE END, HOW CAN YOU EXPECT TO PLAY WELL WHEN YOU NEVER PRACTICE ANYWAY? AFTER ALL, THE BEST PLAYERS IN THE LEAGUE ARE RETIRED OLD GUYS.

THIS IS MY TRIBUTE TO THE BLOGGER OMGWTF, AND HER RANTINGS ON THE LIFE OF A POOL PLAYER. SEEING AS SHE WROTE A BLOG ON A PLAYER SHE CALLS PURPLE PANTS. I THINK I PLAYED HIM LAST NIGHT... I WISH I HAD THE AUDACITY I DID 10 YEARS AGO. AND A FEW LESS SHOTS.